Clean Socks

I was a better man today.

Maybe not for the entire day, but maybe just for a moment. I was the man that I wanted to be. It was a moment where I was able to look at myself from afar, perceiving myself as someone other than myself. It wasn't much really though, but it was enough for me to be proud for a second, if not the full 5 minutes. I was washing my clothes in a laundromat, and reading a book on the side of the washer machine in a garden chair. That was all. That was what gave me some validation.

It's all relative I suppose. On my day off, I could have been in bed until noon, only waking up to eat breakfast and watch tv, only then to lay down for a nap until 4 (at which point I would only wake up later for dinner). I have sadly had more of those days than I care to count. But yet, the simple nature of this gesture, of this moment, gave me a sense of pride, as I was able to extend myself beyond what I could have done, to actions that were not necessary nor essential to the day.

Is it wrong to take pride in this? Is it immoral to take pride in initiative? Does it take away whatever aspect of being a "better man" that I just proclaimed myself to have become, if only for a moment.

Regardless, it has transpired to a domino effect of productivity and progress toward aspects of my life that I often overlook. Washing the dishes, writing my lesson plans for the week, grading papers at home, calling random people to keep in touch, picking lentballs out of my hairbrush, flossing, naming stars, and a host of other arbitrary things that normally don't get done until I absolutely have to do them.

What's more, the more I read, the more I write. It's like taking my narrative voice to the gym, as I often say.

PS. I saw a man a few days ago chatting on the internet using sign language via video connection and thought it was awesome. Awesome that we had the technology to accommodate such necessities in this day and age.

that's all. write more later.

have a nice day.