this place exudes sex. like a wet sponge sitting at the edge of the sink, slowly yet consistently dripping excess water from it's corner. the smell of that moistness, the aroma of soapy discard lingering in it's pores. this place is soaked. drenched in eroticism, every corner and every beat is caught unto the rhythm of a pubescent deity, eager to demonstrate it's artistic design in the exotic flavor of human intrigue. and so it is obliged. and so it is catered. it is commercialized and sold for the experience that it is, and isn't.
my first week stay here in isle verde, puerto rico has been one of self discovery, fortitude, regret, solitude, hope, patience, and weakness. maybe i should put hope first in that list though. for i have learned the most about hope. of all, i have learned that hope is as fragile as it is powerful. i liken it to glass, often used to shelter us from nature itself, but yet easily breakable given the right amount of force. i suppose the same could be said about many of Earth's resources (i.e. wood, stone, copper, etc.) yet, i have come to liken hope to glass because of perception. you see, unlike the other resources mentioned, reflections can be seen in glass, and as such, the image shown all depends on the angle in which it is viewed. hope is no different. hope alone, the presence or absence of it, the perception and illusion of it, or the frame in which it is set and depended upon, can easily be the source of one's determined triumph, or of their accepted defeat. but in either case, rest assured, where hope lives, it will be tried. it will be tested.
for the last week, i have lived without electricity. some mixup where the landlord was to take it out of her name and put it in mine, but in the transfer, it got caught in the web of paperwork . who the hell knows. but i do know this, living without such a staple that we, as Americans, take as a given, will tell you something about yourself. a few things I've learned are that:
1) cold showers are not that bad.
2) though cold showers aren't that bad, you never get used to starting them. never.
3) candlelight is remarkably effective.
4) books and flashlights go together.
5) mosquitoes like their food nicely basted in sweat
and so it was. living with no electricity, surrounded by exotic women and atmosphere, knowing no one, and having little to do but walk around looking for jobs. that easily brings one home horny, frustrated, sweaty and lonely. useless, and with no purpose. finding entertainment from simply sitting and staring out the window.
and to be honest, this is exactly what i was looking for.
all in all, i found that i could live one week without it. 6 days and 14 hours in that state of mind. though, in honesty, i did start to lose it around day 3. it gives one a matter of perspective when you hear of people having to live like that on a dialy basis yknow. and i don't exclusively mean overseas, but also here at home. people that don't have the money to pay these electric bills, so nights have to be spent with a flashlight, a decent book, taco bell, and the hope that they will fall asleep soon to meet the welcoming light of day.
in a land filled with sex and power, i spent a week surrounded by both, but having neither. and though adaptation is an inevitable process, it's also a very difficult one.
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:)
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