these nights don't drop from the sky

it would have been of those instances that my Aunt Essie B. would have used an adage to explain. she would have told me that good women didn't grow on trees, drop down from the sky, don't pop out of thin air. she would have told me that if things seem too good to be true, it's because they are. she would have told me to count my blessings, stop being so naive, and to eat a tablespoon of honey to make me wiser.

to make everything clear.

you see, it wasn't that i didn't know the game, i just didn't know the rules. it's like those friends you have that don't know how to play the card favorite at the party. the ones that say, "i know, i know, i should know how to play Spades, i just...don't."

the way it happened was typical of our current generation and time. it was simple. sincere. genuine. but also technological, which made it hard to explain to the elders. even hard to explain to the traditional facet of my own psyche to be honest. she approached me on the internet, facebook to be exact, with the very general premise of "you look familiar". being familiar indeed, a lost face from her childhood, she a lost face from mine, i replied, "hmm...i'm not sure, you look familiar too." hell, when fate and irony dance all they need is the beat of the raindrops and the melody of the wind. it doesn't take much. it's easy yknow. the actual messages literally might have varied but one or two sentences more than that, but instantly, they became paragraphs of back-and-forth conversation about past, present, future, hypothetical situations, family members, friendly arguments, the ideal, the tragic, the intimate and the unknown.

we were friends before she hit SEND. we were entwined before i hit REPLY.

needless to say, this carried on for several weeks before phone numbers were even exchanged. and even after they were, they weren't used. not until the opportunity arose to finally meet. and even then, it all felt orchestrated. but in a nice way. pleasantly scripted. the off-chance i was in town, the off-chance she was free that night, the off-chance that she her plans fell through for her birthday. it was like reading a book. the conversation was a string of questions, all of them answered with "yes". the talk led to a schedule. the schedule led to a meet. the meet led to an embrace. a hug. a drink. a conversation. all a part of the plan. all a part of the script.

then i found out she was my cousin.

"what do you mean? we're cousins?"
"yeah, as i was walking out the house, my mom called. i told her i was going out with one "hayes". she replied that we might be kin."

i'm not sure what to do. i had just bought this girl a drink! i was in the process of vetting her, to get her to the dancefloor, to put my arms around her waist! what will my friends think?! who can i even talk to?! how did i succumb to being this country overnight?! what if we fall in love and can't help it?! what if we have some weird, extra-martial, incestuous relationship behind the backs of our spouses?!!? people are looking at me! someone has heard our conversation!! i need to find a way to split the tab!!! maybe it's not too late to try to make this a friendly, family, platonic outing of the night!!!! what do i do?!?!

"damn, you're mom said that?"
"yeah, she had me worried for a second too! but then she told me that it was through marriage, a generation back or so. i think my second cousin married your grandpa's sister, something like that. then she told me to have a nice time."

oh.

i was still not so easily moved. i wasn't sure what the rules were for dating in-laws were. i had never come across it before. and at that point, i had had enough Jack Daniels to question my own logic. eventually, we took to the dance floor, where i was still in platonic mode for the first few songs, keeping the distance and making "small dance" with the people around me. i guess she caught on to this, and proceeded to make me feel more comfortable by moving in on me. i followed her lead. one song led to the next and by time i looked up, we had broken a sweat, our things we over in a nearby corner, our empty drink glasses were gone, and a slow song had come on.

these nights don't happen often.

but when they do, they're great. when everything just goes right. the right songs. the right drinks. the right mood and people and atmosphere. when you find that that the girl you're diggin is your cousin, but then find out it's ok, because it's not by blood through some random cousin's marriage. it's nice when it happens like that yknow. everyone gets home safe. call each other the next day, like, "i had a really nice time" "yeah, i did to, we have to do it again sometime" "yeah, definitely".

speaking of the next day, i thought about it some more. i called a few friends (thanks pam) and talked to a few people and indeed the whole dating in-laws thing is legit. maybe not smart. but legit. it would be like dating my brother's wife's sister, or my dad's brother's wife's sister's daughter, or my mom's brother's sister's neighbor's granddaughter's niece's classmate. either way it goes, she's not related to my Aunt Essie B. and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. no spoonful of honey needed or anything.

maybe they do grow on trees and pop out of thin air. how else can it be explained?
maybe they do drop from the sky.