Monday, January 4, 2010

the lack of ups and downs

the ups and downs will come. yet, for some reason, when things seem too good, we feel as though it should come at a price. "ups" without "downs" seems implausible. seems surreal. we get the notion that it shouldn't be; that's it's just not right. we may even get the urge to manufacture turmoil solely to validate that which seems too good to be true. or maybe that's just me.

you see, it's hard to believe that happiness just arrives at your doorstep. it's difficult to imagine that joy can come so freely. in all facets of storytelling, be it book, films, song, or folklore, happiness comes only after struggle; only after the conflict has been resolved. even when said tales begin in a happy setting, it is succeeded by struggle or despair to be overcome, only to arrive to happiness again in the end. is that the story of life? or is that simply the art of storytelling?

the ups and downs will come. i'm sure. that's been the pattern so far. it's just that, when the "up" seems so sudden, and so...tailored, it gets a bit scary. it's as if the "down" may come just as quickly. it's like expecting a drop at any second because you're aware of how high you've gotten in such a short amount of time.

i know, i know, i shouldn't be focused on the fear. and i won't, i pseudo promise. but, one can't help but wonder. right? i mean, when such a positive thing comes out of no where, you have to wonder what you did to deserve it. or if you even deserve it at all.

i'm sure i don't. so i'll just have to be sure to remember that. through the ups and downs and all the time in between. because that's what 'happy' is, isn't it?

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