as i sit here, at my desk, i procrastinate having to clean out my closet, having to pack my clothes, having to go through my files. i do not wish to mop the floors, or roll up the rugs, or organize the electronics.
i sold my tv.
by the end of this week, the majority of my life will be in route to atlanta, in various boxes of various sizes. the rest of my life will be with me, nicely compacted in the very trunk i brought up here with me. to new york. and now i'm leaving.
there's a lot i wanted to do here that i will not have done. and in exchange, there is much here that i did not plan to do, that i did.
one thing is for sure, in reference to the previous post "bread and circuses", and that's that fear is not real. it is manufactured. it is artificial. it is plastered over the news and throughout our media to keep us living in a state of emergency, to keep us clinging to that which we find security in. to keep us at our jobs, our homes, our investments, our mutual funds, our social security, our insurance programs. they keep is plugged into a state of anxiety and concern, concern that our lives and our well-being is always in the balance. that it is always in jeopardy of being taken away.
and if fear is real, it is not this. it is not this which is so easily cured with an address from the president, or so conveniently comforted by promises of change and hope. this is not fear, whatever it is. it is not real.
no, and after having written "bread and circuses" a post geared towards the fear i felt after an evening of watching a particularly intense session of news coverage, it was brought to my attention, it was reminded of me, that our world is so much better than we are deeming it. our society is so much more advanced than we are giving it credit for. there is no need to fear anything. there is no need to fear the unknown, or to be anxious about the future. situations arise, and we have to deal with it accordingly.
some days will be harder than others.
and as such, i approach this believe, leaving new york and the security of my own home, my own job, my degrees, my retirement fund, my investments, my relationships. leaving all for that which i cannot truly explain other than a whim of purpose and destiny. following the path laid out before me with only the faith that has been instilled in me by my parents and my parents' parents. and where this path isn't for everyone, it is the path for me, and requires me to leave everything i find comfort in, to pursue a foreign road.
and though i am aware of this, it doesn't make it any less difficult. hence, the clothes are still in my dresser, the dishes are still in the sink, and the closets are still full. my procrastination is a manifestation of human doubt and hesitation to let go. but as hesitant as i might be, each second keeps on moving, as if my doubt doesn't even exist.
therefore, i must emulate time, and press on irregardless of self-sustained bias or will. i must press on as if my waver doesn't exist. as if it's clockwork.
...and so it begins...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
bread and circuses
"'Bread and circuses' (panem et circenses) is an ancient Roman metaphor for people choosing food and fun over freedom. It often appears in commentary that accuses people of giving up their civic duty and following whichever political leader offers to satisfy their decadent desires."
thanks wikipedia.
author Dean Kootz elaborates on this idea a little further in his novel, "The Face", in which case he explores the notion that despite economic hardships, national suffering, and even widespread epidemic, the entertainment industry always thrives. he even goes as far to allude to the notion that the industry might even benefit from mass hardships as people seek refuge from their own pain and suffering. "food and illusions," he says, is all people have needed to survive.
i believe him.
yet, lately, i've found it difficult to be so easily distracted. and i'm getting the impression that the rest of the country is as well. in the midst of war, our headlines were streaming with news of celebrity weddings, splits, antics, arrests, successes, failures, quotes, and affairs. as of 5 years ago, our televisions have been flooded with "reality tv", primetime sagas, and cultural phenomenons to which our generation has never seen.
don't believe me? when was it ever necessary outside of daytime soap operas that cliff-hangers were needed at the end of EVERY episode of a series. now look at the likes of Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, Battlestar Galatica, House, and Friday Night Lights. let's also explore the media frenzy behind the likes of Spears, Hilton, Kutcher, Pitt, Jolie, Aniston, Jackson, and Cruise. lets look at box office sales, as speculative fiction is on the rise with superhero movies, pirate epics, space sagas, and hobbits. consider that 13 of the top 20 movies in the united states ever, were released from 2002 - 2007. ever. none of which grossed less than $315K. and all of those, with the exception of Passion of the Christ were of the aforementioned genre of speculative fiction. none based in reality. none non-fiction. none war-related. and even of those, 4 were released before 2007-2008.
but how long can this go on? reading the headlines has become so depressing that no form of entertainment quite eradicates the taste from my mouth. the distractions that used to put me at ease are now only serving as tools of procrastination, a flash in the dark that simply reminds me that our world is becoming void of light. our headlines are even giving up, giving much less attention to the movie stars of today, and more to the worldwide plights of disaster and epidemic. politics has taken center stage, and with it, paper bag remedies to problems that we ourselves have created as a species. things could be so simple. the answers to our issues are not complicated. but our society is rash, and unforgiving, and our decisions have been made on false and self-indulging pretenses. what can distract us now? what form of splendor can take our minds off of the hurt and pain of our family, friends, neighbors, and associates? how much longer can we ignore the growing sense of suffering in our communities? how much longer can we be oblivious to the unbearable pain taking place overseas?
i don't think it's much longer at all. as dismal as it may be, a time is approaching were we will no longer be satisfied with "food and illusions", with "bread and circuses". no, we are approaching an age where our greatest hopes will be vanquished by disappointment and rage. we have become over-eager to hand our problems off to a savior, and over-zealous to pass off our responsibilities to anyone willing to take the reigns. i pray that i'm wrong. i pray that we heed the reminders and warnings that will surely come. i hope we can get back to the times of bread and circuses.
but ultimately, i believe that time has come and gone.
thanks wikipedia.
author Dean Kootz elaborates on this idea a little further in his novel, "The Face", in which case he explores the notion that despite economic hardships, national suffering, and even widespread epidemic, the entertainment industry always thrives. he even goes as far to allude to the notion that the industry might even benefit from mass hardships as people seek refuge from their own pain and suffering. "food and illusions," he says, is all people have needed to survive.
i believe him.
yet, lately, i've found it difficult to be so easily distracted. and i'm getting the impression that the rest of the country is as well. in the midst of war, our headlines were streaming with news of celebrity weddings, splits, antics, arrests, successes, failures, quotes, and affairs. as of 5 years ago, our televisions have been flooded with "reality tv", primetime sagas, and cultural phenomenons to which our generation has never seen.
don't believe me? when was it ever necessary outside of daytime soap operas that cliff-hangers were needed at the end of EVERY episode of a series. now look at the likes of Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, Battlestar Galatica, House, and Friday Night Lights. let's also explore the media frenzy behind the likes of Spears, Hilton, Kutcher, Pitt, Jolie, Aniston, Jackson, and Cruise. lets look at box office sales, as speculative fiction is on the rise with superhero movies, pirate epics, space sagas, and hobbits. consider that 13 of the top 20 movies in the united states ever, were released from 2002 - 2007. ever. none of which grossed less than $315K. and all of those, with the exception of Passion of the Christ were of the aforementioned genre of speculative fiction. none based in reality. none non-fiction. none war-related. and even of those, 4 were released before 2007-2008.
but how long can this go on? reading the headlines has become so depressing that no form of entertainment quite eradicates the taste from my mouth. the distractions that used to put me at ease are now only serving as tools of procrastination, a flash in the dark that simply reminds me that our world is becoming void of light. our headlines are even giving up, giving much less attention to the movie stars of today, and more to the worldwide plights of disaster and epidemic. politics has taken center stage, and with it, paper bag remedies to problems that we ourselves have created as a species. things could be so simple. the answers to our issues are not complicated. but our society is rash, and unforgiving, and our decisions have been made on false and self-indulging pretenses. what can distract us now? what form of splendor can take our minds off of the hurt and pain of our family, friends, neighbors, and associates? how much longer can we ignore the growing sense of suffering in our communities? how much longer can we be oblivious to the unbearable pain taking place overseas?
i don't think it's much longer at all. as dismal as it may be, a time is approaching were we will no longer be satisfied with "food and illusions", with "bread and circuses". no, we are approaching an age where our greatest hopes will be vanquished by disappointment and rage. we have become over-eager to hand our problems off to a savior, and over-zealous to pass off our responsibilities to anyone willing to take the reigns. i pray that i'm wrong. i pray that we heed the reminders and warnings that will surely come. i hope we can get back to the times of bread and circuses.
but ultimately, i believe that time has come and gone.
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