toast to oscar

life sucks right now.

a friend called and told me that. and i agreed with her. life does suck right now. life is relative though, so i suppose it's a good thing for it to suck sometimes. if it never sucked, we would never be able to fully comprehend what a good day is. there would be no such thing as an awesome day, if no days ever sucked. so, it's inevitable. in order for life to ever be pleasantly experienced, it must suck at certain moments.

but alas, knowing that doesn't make it suck any less.

i'm tired now. and have just enough borrowed internet to put up this one little blog about how life sucks right now.

maybe this week won't suck. or at least not suck so much. good luck week. good luck.

Streets of PR (as requested)

Carolina, PR

Isla Verde, Carolina - my current neighborhood

West Isla Verde, Carolina, PR

Mom said this is God looking out for me.
I think it's either that or light ray reflections off the ocean.
It would be nice if it were both.

Backyard

Front Yard (though, I'll upload a better pic of this later)

Fort in Old San Juan

Streets in East San Juan

This is a big tree.

I'm pretty sure this is the Pacific Ocean. Stays pretty warm.

Streets of Old San Juan again.

or maybe 45%...

i've been drunk for a while now. not "exceedingly" or "dangerously drunk". but i've had quite a few beers and am in a stuper enough to be deemed as intoxicated. it's ok though. my driving, though not good, was not any worse than any other driver in puerto rico, drunk or sober. ask around. anyone will tell you. i'm probably a better driver right now than half the drivers on this island at 5:15 in the afternoon.

but that's neither here nor there. i just came home, and finished a book i finally committed to. and i've still got this tipsy headache thing going on. in my right mind, but not quite in total control of my balance and motor functions, i made my way to the kitchen for some water.

it was good.

after that, just now, i went on my dear friend facebook. on this social network, i saw some pictures of a young woman i used to date. she's having a baby. due very soon. she's beautiful. her relationship with the father is beautiful. he seems like a really, really nice guy. and everything seems to be in place for this child to be born in a world of love and nurturing. and if you're reading this young lady, i wish you and the family the best of luck.

but as of right now though, seeing these pictures, and realizing how soon ago she and i had been seeing each other last - it has hit me very seriously just now that, man, this shit is real. like, i could be a father, right, now. and where one could argue destiny, or responsibility, or fault, or personal habit, or whatever, the fact remains that at any given encounter, me, us, any of us, our lives can instantaneously and significantly change. i mean, for real, our generation is popping out some young'ns! YOUNGNS!! at this point, i think i have more friend with kids than without them. and being a young man that has been sexually active, i'm not even sure how the hell i've missed being a part of this onset of data. sure, i've been safe. sure, i've been selective. sure, i've been careful. but hell, for that matter, 30% - 40% of my very friends were just as safe and selective and careful as i.

funny how someone can just throw data out there and people take it at face value.

ok, maybe 15%, how the hell should i know. my point is that, seeing these pictures...it's so easy for me to see me in them yknow. because i was RIGHT THERE. like, i was there! it's like someone buying the winning lottery ticket right after you bought a losing one, or someone in battle taking a bullet right where you were standing just moments ago. shit's real. shit...is...real...damn, i should be in bed right now. but i'm not. i'm up looking at this baby pictures that could just as easily have been my seed. and it's fucking with me, in my conscious, inebriated, hangover state of mind. it's getting under my skin. soon, the baby will just pop out, lubricated and full of fresh life. fresh.

i dunno. i'm just rambling i suppose. i'm going for more water. i'll check this entry for spelling errors in the morning.

goodnight.

good morning procrastinator

this morning, a mosquito came in whispered in my ear. that resulted in me instinctually slapping the shit out of myself. so, i woke up eariler than i usually do. might i also add that being hairy doesn't help like i thought it would. i figured that because of my hair, the small rodent insects would have to work to actually get to my skin. but alas, the hair is more of a distraction to me, as any small movement with air circulation in the room (fan, vent, AC) makes me think that a bug is attacking, when it's really just my hair moving. this makes me slap myself more often than i need to.

either way, fine, i get it, cosmos. i understand, mother nature. i gotcha, oh sweet karma. get up and be about the day, you say. get my voter registration absentee information printed and sent out. ok. call and follow up on possible job opportunities. ok. jog and exercise before you wonder how you developed man-boobs overnight. alright. sheesh. you could've given me a dream or something. having these damn mosquitoes sending messages like this is not what's up. it's just rude. effective, but rude.

thanks.