I'm really trying here to better myself. On every single level. But I promise, everytime I write list to be productive, I end up doing everything but what's on that list. Maybe I should make a list of all the things I want to do to procrastinate. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to make a list of all the things that I would normally do to avoid doing the things I've set out to do, in hopes of avoiding the things I would normally avoid, and do the things I was trying to avoid in the first place (go ahead, read it again, I read it three times to verify accuracy). The list will look something like this:
1) Don't set alarm clock at all
2) Upon waking up, just go back to sleep.
3) Upon finally getting up, don't mediate, pray, read, or exercise - flip through netflix or hulu and see what you can come up with to kill time. Nevermind that you really don't want to watch anything in particular, just scroll through, and something will surely catch your eye.
4) Wear whatever is closest to you.
5) Make your office space messier. Find some mail or random magazines to put on your desk, because it's not cluttered enough.
6) Call someone while they're at work and forget that they're at work. Just chat away as if what they're doing is not important.
7) Have a staring contest with your bills.
8) Take a nap. What? You're not sleepy. I don't care. Go the F#ck to Sleep.
9) Wake up and find something interesting online, then share it with everyone on every social networking site you're a member of. Don't worry, everyone will like it because everyone has the same interests as you do.
10) Start doing something productive 25 minutes before you have to be somewhere. That way, it's a win-win. Either you'll leave, and abandon what you're doing, using your departure as an excuse; or you'll stay and be late to the thing, using your productivity as an excuse. Either way, you're a failure. Which, by this list's standards, is success. Congratulations.
And there we have it. I'll give it a whirl and see what happens...
