Parmesan makes me happy?

I went grocery shopping on Wednesday. It was pleasant. My sister went for watermelon. I went for Parmesan cheese. The ladyfriend went to check if blueberry pancakes had gone on sale at any point over the last week. Or to keep us company. I digress. I found myself in the magazine aisle as I so often do, and came across a quote by Ryan Reynolds, an actor I have come to admire over the years for no particular reason whatsoever. The quote was wedged amongst many other headlines on the cramped cover of Men's Health Magazine. It was hardly recognizable actually, and wouldn't have been noted at all if not for the red font that differed from all of the other words on the page. It read, simply, "Happiness is a choice".

Now, I myself cannot vouch for whether or not Ryan Reynolds is indeed happy. Nor can I attest to any credentials or qualifying experiences he has had to make such claims on the matter. I can only go off of the school-boy smile and bold-print quote that was so aimlessly placed upon a random magazine I happen to see at the grocery store. Yet, by time I actually made it to my cheese, the quote had found a way to the mainstreams of my mind, flowing effortlessly into the analytical abyss which resides the corners of my mental stratosphere. Was such a metaphor even called for? No, but it feels good just to take it there for no apparent reason other than to complicate the paragraph.

As I thought on it though, I agree with Reynolds whole-heartedly. Happiness is a choice. Yet, in my opinion, where happiness is an relatively easy choice to identify, it is not necessarily so easy to execute. The choices that make us happy are often times not the choices that are so feasible to make. The hurdles between these choices and our current situations often seem daunting, and difficult. They seem like too much of a risk, and too far from the places where we have grown content. Many of us are simply satisfied with "pseudo-happiness", or "happy enough"; the notion of possibly losing that which we are satisfied with for the chance of attaining true happiness is intimidating, and for some, terrifying.

And so where do we go? When that which we know will make us truly happy is not within arms reach. When the choice to make the steps that will ultimately fulfill us seems too far to capture, too high to attain, or too difficult to grasp. I don't know Ryan Reynolds answer to this, but I'm sure it's a good one. He seems like an awesome guy. As for me though, I offer the following:

1. God. My first answer to everything is often, in my opinion, the best answer for everything. Yet, just because the answer is simply put, doesn't mean that the answer is simple here. I do not mean "God" in the sense of going to church and expecting an answer to hit you from the sky. I mean, talk with some people that you believe truly have a solid relationship with God. Discuss with some people close to you about their experiences with their faith. And BY ALL MEANS, please, if you find someone, make sure it's someone that cares about you. If you don't, you may very well end up with someone who just wants to quote scriptures and get you in the choir so as to help out their alto section. I've seen it happen. Take your time, and pray about it best you know how.

2. Friends. Make them, and appreciate them. Whether one is considered friend because they are in your family, or family because they are your friend, perspective is irrelevant here. A good friend is worth more than any tangible item you can place your hands on. Treat them as such, and they'll listen, and will cross mountains to help you attain that which you feel is unattainable.

3. Research. Don't be a dumbass. Look into the steps necessary to make the choice of happiness. Make a list, make a plan. Identify what is holding you back. Analyze what you need to advance. And most important, really contemplate what happiness is, and what it means for you. Happiness is not getting some other woman's man, or sleeping with a particular lady you've been interested in. At least, I haven't seen it described as such. Cmon. I'm saying plan, not plot. Happiness is definitely not attaining boatloads of money and fame, ask any rich and famous person, it's not secret. If you're having problems with understanding happiness, refer back to #1, please. I beg you. Please do not equate tangible goods and accomplishments with happiness. These things are short-lived and temporary; whereas true happiness is eternal.

I could be wrong though. Ryan Reynolds could be just as wrong. These are just our opinions. We come to these conclusions based on our own experiences and lessons, coupled with the experiences and lessons learned by others. Reynolds and I, that is.

Good luck on the search, and for those that have already made the choice to be happy, I say congratulations. Pass on the love.

Have a nice day.

kismet 30331

and now i'm here. back in atlanta. 4 years ago, i was barely 21, living in the basement of my parents house, graduating from college. since then, it seems like an entire lifetime has happened. i cannot begin to describe the sensation that i am feeling right now. i suppose, right now at least, it's indescribable. and believe me, i'm trying. i've been sitting at this keyboard for the last 20 minutes trying to think of a good metaphor, analogy, simile, or just plain explanation to just begin to describe what this feels like. where is my mind? where is my heart? what is my plan? for years, i have thought of my life as practice rounds for this very moment, as if my life wouldn't officially start until right now. high school, college, new york, puerto rico, all of it. all of it - practice. and now, it's as if someone suddenly stepped onto the court with a scorecard in hand; like someone appeared on the battlefield and replaced the paintballs with live ammunition. i don't know why i have put such emphasis on this moment in my life. i have no idea why i myself made this the benchmark for life to start keeping score. but it's ingrained. there is nothing i can do about it now but accept it. this is no longer a sparring match - if it ever was. and where my life up to this point as been but a leaf caught in a whirlwind of activity and circumstance, i feel that i have now landed - grounded in the reality that is to be the foundation for my very purpose. and really, that's what i was expecting to happen all along. it's exactly what i thought would happen. it's just what i wanted - to build on my experiences in preparation for what was to be my providence in life. this moment was always supposed to happen.

it just hadn't dawned on me that said moment started tomorrow.