So let's get this straight. In 2006, we, the constituents of America, hand you Congress. Gift wrapped with a bow. We attached a nice note that said, "I've liked you since the 2nd grade." We even threw in a bag of candy hearts that said "be mine".
At which point, you put forth a few good ideas. You put forth some pretty monumental efforts. Yet, it was all only the vast majority of them to be shot down by President Bush, or result in a financial bailout for corporations that likely had a significant role to play in the countries economic downward spiral in the first place. But we, the constituents, looked past that. We understood that the reason you couldn't come to the movies to make out was that your daddy wouldn't let you out the house. The reason you couldn't be the prom queen was because the principal wouldn't sign off on the tiara. The reason you couldn't pitch was because coach would let you out the dugout.
So, in Nov. 2008, we changed the coach, so you could throw your no-hitter game. We gave you a new principal so that you could shine in your majestic glory. We gave you a new Daddy, Democrats, a new daddy!
Metaphors aside for a moment. Really, for all the roadblocks you hit while Bush was in office, we overwhelmingly voted in a new leader to the White House to alleviate your pain and suffering. We, as a nation, sighed a sigh of relief to the notion that "now, ok, now things will get done". Dems own Congress, in need of no Republican support whatsoever from Senate or the House of Representatives. Dems own the White House, no opposition from the President, as he's more visionary than most and is really, and I mean really trying to get things done. So now, with all of these pieces in place for Democrats as a group to do literally whatever you wanted with any aspect of our federal government, the first and ONLY thing you all decide to do is.........
Squabble.
I promise. If 2012 rolls around and we haven't reformed healthcare, made progress in Afghanistan, stopped the national economic tailspin, AND closed Guantanamo Bay, I'm switchin parties! Not only am I switching, but I'm campaigning, hard. For whomever the hell is not Republican or Democratic Party. I'll listen to any other party out there Independent, Green, Black Panther, you name it!
Because really, what's your excuse? WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE!? You have none! Your opposition is insignificant! It's like your playing football and the defense only has 3 people on the other side of the scrimmage - and you jackasses are arguing about which play you want to execute to score the touchdown! How do you not realize that it doesn't matter what the hell you do, we just want to score!!
And so now, you blame Republicans for playing politics. You blame insurance companies for ambushing town hall meetings and spreading false rumors. You blame the previous administration for leaving such a huge mess left to clean up. But really, where I am sure all of those excuses are real and factual - it's October. It is October. It is October. And besides pulling the trigger on a stimulus package that was already halfway written this time last year, you have nothing to show for yourselves.
This is the epitome of shameful. Stupid Democrats.
The following is a conversation I had in a Waffle House at 3am with Gigi. More informative than I was expecting it to be, it turned out to be rather accurate in it's portrayal. Hence, I bring it about here. The stages and definitions of a relationships and their titles (as I see it):1) Attraction. This level is the basic notion of interest. Be it a friend, acquaintance, or associate, one begins to admire an individual and desires them. The extent of said desire is irrelevant in this stage, as the only significant fact is that desire is present, and mutual. In this stage, flirting takes place - laughter, shared interest, and some form of physical contact (light embrace, held hands, close dance, movie snug, etc.) Note: this is also the stage where jealously enters.
2) "Diggin". This stage establishes the fact that both parties are interested in the other. For, though attraction may be mutual, it may not be actually feasible to act on. So consider this stage the green light, where both parties not only get to know one another, but also get the indication that the subsequent stages are attainable. Go ahead, put your cards out on the table, have that good talk, move from the movie snug to the full on make-out session during Kill Bill Vol. 2 (which you thought was going to be so much better than it was). Note: if potential jealously wasn't there before, it definitely is there now. 3) Casual Dating. Pay attention, these next three stages are tricky. Casual dating means that you are spending time with a person that you like, doing things that you enjoy doing with that person, with the potential that intimate encounters may ensue. No expectations. No obligations. No responsibilities. No strings. Fellas, you don't have to call her and tell her goodnight. Not at this stage. Ladies, you don't have to call him to let him know you made it in safe. Nothing. Nada. It's all just for fun. It's like a sparring match. It's like teaching without tenure. At any point it could end and you can't cry foul about it. But know this, if you plan on moving up in stages, what you do in the casual stage does count. The points, though drawn in pencil, are there. And you can't advance to the next stage in dating, if you don't come correct in this one. 4) Basic Dating. So, when a good movie is coming out soon, you already know who you're gonna call. When your friend is about to get married, you already know who you want to ask as your date. This is Basic Dating. This is when you can say, "I am dating this person." They are your go-to. Though you may have a roster, or other people you're interested in, this is your "main squeeze". Expectations start come into play here, and how one handles those expectations dictates the course of the relationship from here on out. Actions here determine whether or not the relationship moves on to the next stage, or if it disintegrates entirely.5) Exclusive Dating. For whatever reason, you don't call each other "boyfriend/girlfriend" and though everyone knows the deal, you still introduce them to people as your "friend". This is the only difference between Exclusive Dating and Exclusive Relationship. It's just not official. You can still play the "I'm not your man/woman" card. The expectations are there, but the obligations are not. The design is there, but the responsibility is not. And without obligations and responsibility comes the freedom from consideration. You're still in it for yourself at this stage, despite the fact that you are clearly with only one person and share your experiences with them more than most. Despite the fact that everyone else considers you to be a couple, though between the two of you it's more "undefined". This stage can be both beautiful and frustrating depending on the day and depending on where both parties are in their lives. 6) Exclusive Relationship. The bells and whistles are now attached, and you either love it or hate it. This stage deserves it's own handbook, and I'm sure more than enough exist. This is, for all intents and purposes, for adults, known as "courting". Let's be honest, we can't sit around wasting each others' time. We have careers and lives to think about now. We can't allow ourselves to just jump into relationships just for the hell of it and think it's nothing. That was stage 3. Don't even come up to stage 6 without rain boots on. Really, this is consistency, consideration, communication, and collaboration. Daily. Daily. And it's all worth it if it's real. If it's true. If it isn't, it shouldn't go into the next stage at all, nor will it last in this one. This is really where two become coalesced, not that they become one, but that they just become intertwined. This is the stage where it's "official". The whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing. The meet the parents and the friends and all. This is the person you are truly interested in, and want to make work out to something lasting, or nothing at all. 7) Marriage. And Engagement, for those that are going to nitpick. This is for all the marbles. You should expect this person to greet you in heaven. It's not an easy stage at all. It's the previous stage times, well, a lot. But it is simple. Just love each other through literally everything. Simple, but not easy. Though, if you made it through all of the previous six stages, and still made it here, hopefully you've built up foundation enough to really make it to the home stretch. For those more spiritual, marriage is really defined as the union between two individuals and God. Though not an easy venture, it has potential to be one of the most beautiful things to behold. Case and point, just to demonstrate the stages.Case: Eric is buying a house. How would this be handled, based on the stage of relationship?Stage 1 - Attraction - Eric is going to ensure that Faith is invited to the house warming party.Stage 2 - Diggin - Eric is sure to invite Faith to the house warming party personally. Will ensure personal time with her. Stage 3 - Casual Dating - Faith comes with friends so as to not appear alone or overeager, to which they (or at least she) is one of the last to leave, if she does. Eric accommodates and spends quality time during, and especially near the end of the house warming. Stage 4 - Dating - Eric lets Faith know that he is buying a house weeks before hand just in conversation. As such, he takes her by just to see it before the house warming is thrown. She thinks it's special that he takes her by before some of his other friends. Stage 5 - Exclusive Dating - Eric asks Faith to help him throw the house warming party, to which she accepts and assists. She invites friends and makes the run for food/drink when things run low so as to free Eric up to be a good host. She stays after to help him clean and relax. Stage 6 - Exclusive Relationship - Faith is included on the house warming idea from day one, and her opinion of the house before Eric signs for it is significant to him. She may even help decorate a bit, depending on how deep the relationship is. She helps clean up afterwards, and enlists others to help as well. Maybe even some breakfast in the morning. Stage 7 - Marriage/Engagement - The house gets signed for when both parties are more than satisfied. The house warming party is of equal initiative and is of equal responsibility. Eric and Faith take a moment to thank everyone for coming out near the end of the party, and end the night with one last song from The Dave Matthews Band. And there you have it. Questions? Comments? Concerns?
I went grocery shopping on Wednesday. It was pleasant. My sister went for watermelon. I went for Parmesan cheese. The ladyfriend went to check if blueberry pancakes had gone on sale at any point over the last week. Or to keep us company. I digress. I found myself in the magazine aisle as I so often do, and came across a quote by Ryan Reynolds, an actor I have come to admire over the years for no particular reason whatsoever. The quote was wedged amongst many other headlines on the cramped cover of Men's Health Magazine. It was hardly recognizable actually, and wouldn't have been noted at all if not for the red font that differed from all of the other words on the page. It read, simply, "Happiness is a choice".
Now, I myself cannot vouch for whether or not Ryan Reynolds is indeed happy. Nor can I attest to any credentials or qualifying experiences he has had to make such claims on the matter. I can only go off of the school-boy smile and bold-print quote that was so aimlessly placed upon a random magazine I happen to see at the grocery store. Yet, by time I actually made it to my cheese, the quote had found a way to the mainstreams of my mind, flowing effortlessly into the analytical abyss which resides the corners of my mental stratosphere. Was such a metaphor even called for? No, but it feels good just to take it there for no apparent reason other than to complicate the paragraph.
As I thought on it though, I agree with Reynolds whole-heartedly. Happiness is a choice. Yet, in my opinion, where happiness is an relatively easy choice to identify, it is not necessarily so easy to execute. The choices that make us happy are often times not the choices that are so feasible to make. The hurdles between these choices and our current situations often seem daunting, and difficult. They seem like too much of a risk, and too far from the places where we have grown content. Many of us are simply satisfied with "pseudo-happiness", or "happy enough"; the notion of possibly losing that which we are satisfied with for the chance of attaining true happiness is intimidating, and for some, terrifying.
And so where do we go? When that which we know will make us truly happy is not within arms reach. When the choice to make the steps that will ultimately fulfill us seems too far to capture, too high to attain, or too difficult to grasp. I don't know Ryan Reynolds answer to this, but I'm sure it's a good one. He seems like an awesome guy. As for me though, I offer the following:
1. God. My first answer to everything is often, in my opinion, the best answer for everything. Yet, just because the answer is simply put, doesn't mean that the answer is simple here. I do not mean "God" in the sense of going to church and expecting an answer to hit you from the sky. I mean, talk with some people that you believe truly have a solid relationship with God. Discuss with some people close to you about their experiences with their faith. And BY ALL MEANS, please, if you find someone, make sure it's someone that cares about you. If you don't, you may very well end up with someone who just wants to quote scriptures and get you in the choir so as to help out their alto section. I've seen it happen. Take your time, and pray about it best you know how.
2. Friends. Make them, and appreciate them. Whether one is considered friend because they are in your family, or family because they are your friend, perspective is irrelevant here. A good friend is worth more than any tangible item you can place your hands on. Treat them as such, and they'll listen, and will cross mountains to help you attain that which you feel is unattainable.
3. Research. Don't be a dumbass. Look into the steps necessary to make the choice of happiness. Make a list, make a plan. Identify what is holding you back. Analyze what you need to advance. And most important, really contemplate what happiness is, and what it means for you. Happiness is not getting some other woman's man, or sleeping with a particular lady you've been interested in. At least, I haven't seen it described as such. Cmon. I'm saying plan, not plot. Happiness is definitely not attaining boatloads of money and fame, ask any rich and famous person, it's not secret. If you're having problems with understanding happiness, refer back to #1, please. I beg you. Please do not equate tangible goods and accomplishments with happiness. These things are short-lived and temporary; whereas true happiness is eternal.
I could be wrong though. Ryan Reynolds could be just as wrong. These are just our opinions. We come to these conclusions based on our own experiences and lessons, coupled with the experiences and lessons learned by others. Reynolds and I, that is.
Good luck on the search, and for those that have already made the choice to be happy, I say congratulations. Pass on the love.
Have a nice day.
and now i'm here. back in atlanta. 4 years ago, i was barely 21, living in the basement of my parents house, graduating from college. since then, it seems like an entire lifetime has happened. i cannot begin to describe the sensation that i am feeling right now. i suppose, right now at least, it's indescribable. and believe me, i'm trying. i've been sitting at this keyboard for the last 20 minutes trying to think of a good metaphor, analogy, simile, or just plain explanation to just begin to describe what this feels like. where is my mind? where is my heart? what is my plan? for years, i have thought of my life as practice rounds for this very moment, as if my life wouldn't officially start until right now. high school, college, new york, puerto rico, all of it. all of it - practice. and now, it's as if someone suddenly stepped onto the court with a scorecard in hand; like someone appeared on the battlefield and replaced the paintballs with live ammunition. i don't know why i have put such emphasis on this moment in my life. i have no idea why i myself made this the benchmark for life to start keeping score. but it's ingrained. there is nothing i can do about it now but accept it. this is no longer a sparring match - if it ever was. and where my life up to this point as been but a leaf caught in a whirlwind of activity and circumstance, i feel that i have now landed - grounded in the reality that is to be the foundation for my very purpose. and really, that's what i was expecting to happen all along. it's exactly what i thought would happen. it's just what i wanted - to build on my experiences in preparation for what was to be my providence in life. this moment was always supposed to happen.
it just hadn't dawned on me that said moment started tomorrow.
i was bored one day a while back. so i decided to cut my own hair. as you see here, it came out odd, but not half bad. it got me through the week without looking like a pom-pom, ate up a good bit of time, and saved me a few dollars. besides the bald spot i covered up with a Sharpie marker, i think it was a win-win situation.
my boredom here in this place has been of direct consequence of various factors. 1) my hesitancy to invest in long-lasting friendships because i'll be gone in 4 weeks; 2) my hesitancy to invest in long-lasting friendships because i can't understand what most people around me are saying; 3) my hesitancy to do anything that costs money; 4) my embarrassing disease where i get incredibly aroused whenever i see the color orange; and 5) the weather, it's been summer for the last 8 months.
hence, i cut my hair. i follow people on twitter. i check facebook every 18 seconds. i watch the same movies on TNT, TBS, FX, Spike, and USA over and over. i read books that i discarded months ago. i think about jogging. i read random blogs of little interest to me. i watch the behaviors of ants, for a really long time. these things make me sad to admit i do. why do i know all of the characters names on "I Love Money"?! Why do I give a damn about RayJ, an artist I don't even respect, but have now given countable hours of my time to?! I am not proud of any of this. I am not happy about any of these changes. But, i recognize that they are of a necessary balance in order for me to maintain my sanity and my budget.
and isn't that what it's all about, balance? for every thing i am ashamed of, there are two things that bring me pride. spending my time in prayer, and even meditation at times. randomly exercising when the mood hits me. putting in free overtime at work solely for the benefit of my students. going on cyberdates with my lady friend by watching the same movies over the phone (very nice). exploring the island's forests, beaches, cities, and landscapes. coloring. writing songs, and stories. my occasional blogs. i dig all of that.
so, with that said, i need to leave starbucks and find a place where i might be able to find motivation to create the final exams i've been putting off since last monday. here's hoping that the next month is filled with more of the 4th paragraph here than the 3rd.
have a great day.
I was a better man today.
Maybe not for the entire day, but maybe just for a moment. I was the man that I wanted to be. It was a moment where I was able to look at myself from afar, perceiving myself as someone other than myself. It wasn't much really though, but it was enough for me to be proud for a second, if not the full 5 minutes. I was washing my clothes in a laundromat, and reading a book on the side of the washer machine in a garden chair. That was all. That was what gave me some validation.
It's all relative I suppose. On my day off, I could have been in bed until noon, only waking up to eat breakfast and watch tv, only then to lay down for a nap until 4 (at which point I would only wake up later for dinner). I have sadly had more of those days than I care to count. But yet, the simple nature of this gesture, of this moment, gave me a sense of pride, as I was able to extend myself beyond what I could have done, to actions that were not necessary nor essential to the day.
Is it wrong to take pride in this? Is it immoral to take pride in initiative? Does it take away whatever aspect of being a "better man" that I just proclaimed myself to have become, if only for a moment.
Regardless, it has transpired to a domino effect of productivity and progress toward aspects of my life that I often overlook. Washing the dishes, writing my lesson plans for the week, grading papers at home, calling random people to keep in touch, picking lentballs out of my hairbrush, flossing, naming stars, and a host of other arbitrary things that normally don't get done until I absolutely have to do them.
What's more, the more I read, the more I write. It's like taking my narrative voice to the gym, as I often say.
PS. I saw a man a few days ago chatting on the internet using sign language via video connection and thought it was awesome. Awesome that we had the technology to accommodate such necessities in this day and age.
that's all. write more later.
have a nice day.
