The last few nights have been odd. My dreams have been of stress, worry, concern, and sadness. More than anything, there has been a sincere feel of disappointment. They have actually be so intense, they take about 20-30 minutes to convince myself that it wasn't real - that the event or occurrence only took place in my head. I wake up searching, longing for resolution. It takes about an hour to shake the feeling entirely. What's wrong?
In one dream, the class I just started teaching, was a team that I was coaching. We were in the locker room during, what must have been halftime of whatever sport we were playing, and they were losing badly. The loss wasn't that bad, teams lose sometimes, I understand that, I even understood it then. My source of disappointment was that my motivation speech was not going over well at all. Some of the students were downright ignoring me, playing games, sleeping, or blatantly being distractive to others. In a fit of frustration, I took one kid's Gameboy and threw it to the ground, which made me all the more disappointed in myself. Then, I realized the speech grew too long, and I was late to a meeting at my job. No, on second thought, it wasn't a dream, it was a conference, in Dallas. Specifically, I was supposed to be at Dallas, Fort Worth, which is the airport in Dallas, but for whatever reason, I was supposed to be driving there. I panicked, and found myself waking up, searching for the alarm clock to see how much time I had to speed to Texas. When I found that it was but 7am, I relaxed and rolled over, thinking that I didn't have to leave until 10am. In reality, it was Saturday, and I didn't have anywhere to be until late afternoon. For the next hour though, I slept lightly, as if I really did have to wake up at 10. By 9:30 though, I realized it was all a dream.
In another dream, I was a kid, having a birthday party, and no one showed up. My sister and I were preparing the party, cooking a bit, cleaning a bit, and then I went to sleep, fully expecting to see loads of friends and family downstairs in the kitchen when I awoke. Only, when I awoke, in reality, I listened downstairs and heard no one. Then I drifted back off to sleep, where my dream self walked downstairs and confirmed the nothing I heard when I woke up just moments before. If you think it's confusing to read, just imagine how confusing it was to experience.
There were several other dreams that had the same effect. I have no idea what's going on. The run-of-the-mill answer is the drastic change in my stress-sleep ratio in the last week. But alas, it may be deeper.
I hope it's not though.
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